So two out of three of my girls are getting married this summer. Now, how did that happen? How did I come to this point in life? What happened to the days when they wore adorable little dresses and ribbons and bows in their hair? What happened to reading them books and rocking out to my classic rock tunes in the car on the way to dance class? What happened to telling them stories and listening to their prayers at night? You know, that was all a big part of my life not very long ago. Seriously, it seems like only a couple of days ago and yet here they are all grown up, smiling at me, and telling me they want to take the next step on life's super highway. So hold up now! Wait a second! Back up! That was too quick. I wasn't quite ready for this, but I guess I'm not surprised.
One thing about life is that it always changes. I was telling one of my sons the other day. When you're little, time moves slowly. You can't wait for Christmas. You can't wait for your birthday. You can't wait to get older so that you can do more things, have more privileges. The slowness of time is exasperating. But once you're an adult and you get married and start having kids of your own, time starts moving at warp speed. Pretty soon a decade has passed. Then another. You finally get comfortable being a Dad. It becomes part of your identity and you can never go back. But your little ones, they keep changing. No way to slow it down. No way to reverse it. I used to always tell them to stop growing up.
"Remember that little bob haircut you used to have with the bangs in the front?" I ask one of my daughters.
"Ya, Dad. I'm not 6 anymore." she answers shaking her head a little and smirking.
"Well dang it! I liked that haircut. I told you to stop growing up!" But it's no use. They keep getting older and more beautiful by the day.
Well my girls are still young, but they are of age. Gone are the days when I could make decisions for them or protect them in the same way I used to. My role has changed. I'm now more of an advisor or a life coach, but I'm still their Dad. There is a bond between Dad's and daughters that will never be broken I've been told. I believe it's true if you're a good Dad. At least I know that I never did anything to break that bond with them, so I'm hoping that it will only deepen with time.
I'm hoping that I was the kind of father that only influenced them in them in a positive way and that I was a good model to them of what kind of man to pick to marry. It appears that they have chosen well, so I'm very excited for their future.
I've tried to prepare them for the many challenges of marriage, that no marriage is easy. There are always tests and trials to go through, adjustments and compromises to make. There are pressures from inside and out. It is a relationship that needs to be nurtured and cared for more than any other in order to survive. And I'm hoping that it will not just survive, but thrive. And despite my own experience, I still do believe that the marriage relationship can succeed and provide the greatest joy and contentment possible in life. I've seen this accomplished, but each partner must choose this path. It in no way happens automatically.
I tell my girls that I want them to be equal partners in their marriages. I want them to know their own worth. I want them to use their intelligence, wisdom, and spirit in creating a great relationship and eventually a beautiful eternal family. Yes, I do want grandchildren. Not yet, but eventually. :) My girls need to understand what an equal partnership is. It is not walking in front or behind. It is about walking side by side. They need to carry their own load just as their future husbands need to carry theirs and they need to carry those loads together, make decisions together, and build a future together, as equals.
I also want my girls to remember that their marriage is not only a partnership between spouses, but a partnership with God. I want them to seek wisdom and inspiration from Him always and to have Christ at the center of their lives.
Lastly, I want them to learn from my own marriage. Yes, I'm talking about the one that ended in divorce. I want them to use my experience for their eternal benefit. Whatever they saw good in my marriage, I want them to take with them. Whatever was not, I want them to avoid. They must always remember that they are not destined to repeat the mistakes of their parents. They don't have to follow the divorce cycle. They can choose differently. They have their freedom. They are welcome and encouraged to use my experience to build a stronger and better future with their husbands. All things work together for good for them that love the Lord. So even coming from a divorce can serve to their benefit. It's all up to them. God will turn even the most difficult experiences into a blessing.
These are just a few of the things I've been trying to help my daughters understand before they take that next step into wedded bliss. I'm doing all I can now, but I know that no one can really totally prepare them for marriage. Impossible. It has to be experienced on its own. At least I know they have the foundation for what they need. They have the tools and the support and desire for what a marriage should be and who's to say they won't achieve that. I believe they will.
So after having said all this, there is only one thing left to say:
Bring on the weddings!
Thursday, May 28, 2015
Sunday, May 24, 2015
An Old Girlfriend Comes Back: Why Dating Makes a Difference
About 25 years ago, before I was married, I had a girlfriend. I met her one summer while I was home from BYU. I was at church one Sunday when I saw her for the first time in the chapel. She was blonde and very attractive. As there weren't too many LDS girls like her walking around in my area in Atlanta at the time, I immediately found a way to introduce myself after the meetings. I quickly learned that she was not a member of our church but was just attending that summer with her sister.
In learning more about her, I found out that she really didn't have much of a religious background at all. She had had a little exposure through her grandparents, but that was about it.
What she did have was a loving family, especially her sister who brought her.. She was educated. She was smart and independent, very self motivated. She was friendly. She excelled in her work. She was very confident and I liked that about her.
Well, like any young man might, I pursued her. I decided that I didn't care that she hadn't been raised like I had and we started dating. Pretty soon it turned into a summer romance. By the end of the summer I had the opportunity to baptize her a member of the church. I don't remember a lot of details about her meeting with the missionaries, but I do remember talking about the gospel with her. That was a very great privilege for me. I remember taking her down into the waters of baptism and watching her come up with a huge smile on her face. She was ready for her new life.
We continued dating for about 9 months or so. It was serious for awhile but eventually we decided to move in another direction. We didn't marry each other. In another couple of years we were both married to other people. I kind of lost track of her then.
Fast forward 25 years later. I'm divorced now. I get a message on FB from her out of the blue. "Guess what?" she asks. "My son is getting married in Salt Lake City next week and I'd love to see you and your family while we're there."
"What???? Of course we want to see you! It's been over 25 years. How are you??!!"
We made the arrangements and I took my Dad and she took her son with her and we met at a local restaurant. She told me about her awesome kids and I told her about mine.
My Dad told her he remembered her beautiful smile sitting at our kitchen table all those years ago. She really hasn't changed very much in all that time.
Her oldest son that was with her, had just returned from a mission not too long ago and had found his sweetheart and they were getting married in the temple. He was an impressive kid; so kind, and stable and very loving towards his mother. In all the years since I had known his Mom, he had grown up to be a wonderful man with strong faith and a desire to start his new life based on a relationship with God.
She told me how often she prayed for each one of her kids and how she held on to the promise that if she stayed strong in the gospel herself, her kids would stay strong also. Teach a child the way they should go and they will not depart from it. The fulfillment of this was evident in her son.
At the end of the lunch, as we were saying our goodbyes, her oldest son turns to me and shakes my hand. "I always wanted to meet the guy that baptized my Mom." he says. "Thank you so much for what you did." What I did? Oh yes, I guess I did do something useful I start to remember.
"Now you know who Brett is, and who it is that wrote his name in my very first set of scriptures." my old girlfrend chimes in. "I still have them." she declares.
I'm taken back. It seems surreal, seeing an old girlfriend like that after 25 years with her returned missionary son standing there in the flesh thanking me for what I did over 25 years ago.. What a path my life has taken me on! The people I've met and the relationships I've had. It's overwhelming to think about.
I do not take any credit for her conversion to the church, but I will say that I think I helped her get a good start.
She told me later, that before that time she had not been into any church at all, but that one day, she went with her sister in Atlanta, a light switched on and she completely left her old life behind and never looked back. She never had any desire to return to the old ways of living. She's been converted and has been dedicated ever since. Man, what a miracle! And I got to be part of it! I'm looking at her son who is about to start a righteous family of his own and I marvel at what one little pebble thrown in a pond can do! The ripples extend out forever.
So I guess the moral of the story is this: You and I may get frustrated with our current situation, especially in dating. It can be discouraging at times. We all wish we could skip to the end and just find the one. Right? But just think about the people we've had the opportunity to meet and what we learned from them and what we've been able to contribute to their lives as well. Maybe we meet and date people for a reason. The Lord has grander purposes in mind than what we know, and they may or may not have to do with marriage to any particular person. Do we really want to skip the dating experience and miss out on what the Lord has for us to experience and learn?
I for one am going to try to be more open about my opportunities in the future. I admit that I've had the tendency to judge a situation in dating way too soon. That's my mistake and I can learn from that. The experience I shared in this post about my old girlfriend is a testament to the fact that there is much more going on than we know in the spiritual aspect of things and in the relationships we have in life.
My desire is to go where the Lord leads me and experience what he wants me to experience and to meet who he wants me to meet and to learn what he wants me to learn. Are you with me on this?
This is the truth. I'm sure of it.
In learning more about her, I found out that she really didn't have much of a religious background at all. She had had a little exposure through her grandparents, but that was about it.
What she did have was a loving family, especially her sister who brought her.. She was educated. She was smart and independent, very self motivated. She was friendly. She excelled in her work. She was very confident and I liked that about her.
Well, like any young man might, I pursued her. I decided that I didn't care that she hadn't been raised like I had and we started dating. Pretty soon it turned into a summer romance. By the end of the summer I had the opportunity to baptize her a member of the church. I don't remember a lot of details about her meeting with the missionaries, but I do remember talking about the gospel with her. That was a very great privilege for me. I remember taking her down into the waters of baptism and watching her come up with a huge smile on her face. She was ready for her new life.
We continued dating for about 9 months or so. It was serious for awhile but eventually we decided to move in another direction. We didn't marry each other. In another couple of years we were both married to other people. I kind of lost track of her then.
Fast forward 25 years later. I'm divorced now. I get a message on FB from her out of the blue. "Guess what?" she asks. "My son is getting married in Salt Lake City next week and I'd love to see you and your family while we're there."
"What???? Of course we want to see you! It's been over 25 years. How are you??!!"
We made the arrangements and I took my Dad and she took her son with her and we met at a local restaurant. She told me about her awesome kids and I told her about mine.
My Dad told her he remembered her beautiful smile sitting at our kitchen table all those years ago. She really hasn't changed very much in all that time.
Her oldest son that was with her, had just returned from a mission not too long ago and had found his sweetheart and they were getting married in the temple. He was an impressive kid; so kind, and stable and very loving towards his mother. In all the years since I had known his Mom, he had grown up to be a wonderful man with strong faith and a desire to start his new life based on a relationship with God.
She told me how often she prayed for each one of her kids and how she held on to the promise that if she stayed strong in the gospel herself, her kids would stay strong also. Teach a child the way they should go and they will not depart from it. The fulfillment of this was evident in her son.
At the end of the lunch, as we were saying our goodbyes, her oldest son turns to me and shakes my hand. "I always wanted to meet the guy that baptized my Mom." he says. "Thank you so much for what you did." What I did? Oh yes, I guess I did do something useful I start to remember.
"Now you know who Brett is, and who it is that wrote his name in my very first set of scriptures." my old girlfrend chimes in. "I still have them." she declares.
I'm taken back. It seems surreal, seeing an old girlfriend like that after 25 years with her returned missionary son standing there in the flesh thanking me for what I did over 25 years ago.. What a path my life has taken me on! The people I've met and the relationships I've had. It's overwhelming to think about.
I do not take any credit for her conversion to the church, but I will say that I think I helped her get a good start.
She told me later, that before that time she had not been into any church at all, but that one day, she went with her sister in Atlanta, a light switched on and she completely left her old life behind and never looked back. She never had any desire to return to the old ways of living. She's been converted and has been dedicated ever since. Man, what a miracle! And I got to be part of it! I'm looking at her son who is about to start a righteous family of his own and I marvel at what one little pebble thrown in a pond can do! The ripples extend out forever.
So I guess the moral of the story is this: You and I may get frustrated with our current situation, especially in dating. It can be discouraging at times. We all wish we could skip to the end and just find the one. Right? But just think about the people we've had the opportunity to meet and what we learned from them and what we've been able to contribute to their lives as well. Maybe we meet and date people for a reason. The Lord has grander purposes in mind than what we know, and they may or may not have to do with marriage to any particular person. Do we really want to skip the dating experience and miss out on what the Lord has for us to experience and learn?
I for one am going to try to be more open about my opportunities in the future. I admit that I've had the tendency to judge a situation in dating way too soon. That's my mistake and I can learn from that. The experience I shared in this post about my old girlfriend is a testament to the fact that there is much more going on than we know in the spiritual aspect of things and in the relationships we have in life.
My desire is to go where the Lord leads me and experience what he wants me to experience and to meet who he wants me to meet and to learn what he wants me to learn. Are you with me on this?
This is the truth. I'm sure of it.
Wednesday, May 13, 2015
You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need!
So I go through episodes where I desperately wish I could change certain aspects of my current circumstances. Like you, I have situations to deal with, many of which, are not of my own making, but have been thrust upon me through the actions of others, bad luck, and any other combination of contributing factors over which I have no control.
The other night, I was experiencing anxiety over the situation of not having all my children live with me on a full time basis. If you know me at all, you'll know that I cherish my kids. Each of them is unique and precious to me. Each one has gifts. Each one is different. I was always very involved in their lives and in the day to day raising of them. I can't tell you how many times I felt guided by the Holy Spirit to speak with them, teach them, and love them. I still feel that guidance, but it's very different now. I'm not with them like I used to be and it leaves a hollowness in me sometimes even though it's been a year and a half since things changed.
Well I was talking with God about it that night. I couldn't sleep. I kept tossing and turning and and pleading with him. I was expressing all my angst. I was naming my children one by one and going through all their situations asking him to change things for us, at least in the way that I would like them to change.
Well I know how the Lord works. He doesn't look at things they same way that we do. He sees the end from the beginning and knows us inside and out. He does things according to his own time according to his own will. He does not rush things and he let's us gain the maximum from each one of our experiences in this life, even the divorced experience. We can try to force things if we want, but it's always better if we wait patiently on the Lord to unfold our path before us. It yields the greatest results and the greatest happiness in this life and the next.
I finally got to sleep. When I woke up, nothing had really changed. I was still feeling a little of that angst. Of course, nothing had changed for me from the time I went to sleep to the time I woke up, but as the day unfolded I had opportunities to spend some quality time with my children on a day that wasn't scheduled to be mine.
I had a chance to take my oldest son to a fancy restaurant. I saw my two younger boys when I took my oldest boy home and we whooped and hollered and did break dancing in the driveway. Later I was welcomed home to my own place by two of my wonderful daughters. That was a nicer welcome home than I've had in years.
Had my situation changed? No, but I knew that all those little things were an answer to my prayers. They were like getting a hug from above, a little message telling me that the Lord had heard me and wanted to help me be okay. He sent my children to comfort me. He's got a plan worked out with great things in the present and future for me. I just know it.
Too many times we pray for things and expect divine intervention immediately. Sometimes God has other better plans for us than we know, or he just wants us to learn to be patient while he works behind the scenes to maker us better and stronger people. One thing I know is that he doesn't forget us and he wants us to be well. We need to be aware of when he is communicating with us and sending messages of love and encouragement. I know he does this for us all the time. We just have to learn to listen and be aware of those messages.
Maybe God will help me change some of my circumstances to be the way I want them over time. Maybe he's got a better plan for me than what I can come up with. Either way, I will trust him and things will continue to improve, grow, and become more beautiful. That's the way it is for us folks that are walking on this path of life but trying to walk it according to His will and not our own.
I know you are with me on this. We are all brothers and sisters walking through mortality on our way back home. Let's walk well! Let's walk well.
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The other night, I was experiencing anxiety over the situation of not having all my children live with me on a full time basis. If you know me at all, you'll know that I cherish my kids. Each of them is unique and precious to me. Each one has gifts. Each one is different. I was always very involved in their lives and in the day to day raising of them. I can't tell you how many times I felt guided by the Holy Spirit to speak with them, teach them, and love them. I still feel that guidance, but it's very different now. I'm not with them like I used to be and it leaves a hollowness in me sometimes even though it's been a year and a half since things changed.
Well I was talking with God about it that night. I couldn't sleep. I kept tossing and turning and and pleading with him. I was expressing all my angst. I was naming my children one by one and going through all their situations asking him to change things for us, at least in the way that I would like them to change.
Well I know how the Lord works. He doesn't look at things they same way that we do. He sees the end from the beginning and knows us inside and out. He does things according to his own time according to his own will. He does not rush things and he let's us gain the maximum from each one of our experiences in this life, even the divorced experience. We can try to force things if we want, but it's always better if we wait patiently on the Lord to unfold our path before us. It yields the greatest results and the greatest happiness in this life and the next.
I finally got to sleep. When I woke up, nothing had really changed. I was still feeling a little of that angst. Of course, nothing had changed for me from the time I went to sleep to the time I woke up, but as the day unfolded I had opportunities to spend some quality time with my children on a day that wasn't scheduled to be mine.
I had a chance to take my oldest son to a fancy restaurant. I saw my two younger boys when I took my oldest boy home and we whooped and hollered and did break dancing in the driveway. Later I was welcomed home to my own place by two of my wonderful daughters. That was a nicer welcome home than I've had in years.
Had my situation changed? No, but I knew that all those little things were an answer to my prayers. They were like getting a hug from above, a little message telling me that the Lord had heard me and wanted to help me be okay. He sent my children to comfort me. He's got a plan worked out with great things in the present and future for me. I just know it.
Too many times we pray for things and expect divine intervention immediately. Sometimes God has other better plans for us than we know, or he just wants us to learn to be patient while he works behind the scenes to maker us better and stronger people. One thing I know is that he doesn't forget us and he wants us to be well. We need to be aware of when he is communicating with us and sending messages of love and encouragement. I know he does this for us all the time. We just have to learn to listen and be aware of those messages.
Maybe God will help me change some of my circumstances to be the way I want them over time. Maybe he's got a better plan for me than what I can come up with. Either way, I will trust him and things will continue to improve, grow, and become more beautiful. That's the way it is for us folks that are walking on this path of life but trying to walk it according to His will and not our own.
I know you are with me on this. We are all brothers and sisters walking through mortality on our way back home. Let's walk well! Let's walk well.
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Tuesday, May 5, 2015
Dating Tips for LDS Single Ladies!
Back by popular demand, here I am, Brett Nielson, responding to your urgent request for dating tips for LDS ladies from an LDS man's perspective!
What I am about to tell you is classified manly information, and if you tell anyone I told you, I will deny it! Yet I am solely responsible for the content of this post so I guess I'll have to live with it if my words come to light in the world.
I do so testify that I, Brett Nielson, do accept any blame for this content and do not speak for all members of my sex.
Tip #1: Stay beautiful! In other words, look your best. Don't blame me for this, I didn't create myself or the male gender. Beautiful women come in all different sizes and flavors. Different men have different tastes, but we all agree, we love beautiful and attractive women. So invest in that. It's worth it. It makes everyone happy and for gosh sakes please be feminine. Femininity is highly prized and desired.
Tip #2: Be strong and independent. We are looking for equal partners. At this stage in life, a man needs a woman to work with him and not just look to be taken care of. Most of us have to pay substantial child support. Divorce has taken a serious toll on many of us financially and we are rebuilding. A woman who can work and contribute that way in a partnership is a huge asset and can relieve huge financial stress. This does not mean we are looking for a woman to support us financially, only to help at this rebuilding phase.
Tip #3: Support us as men. A woman who values the role of men as husbands and fathers and appreciates the sacrifices that we make and can express that appreciation to us is like gold. That kind of validation is so needed and makes us feel like we're worth something.
Tip #4: Let us pursue you. I know it's not fair but it's just the way it is. We are hunters and it works better in our psyche if you let us initiate and pursue you. It's much more rewarding if we have to work a little. This does not mean don't encourage us. Yes please encourage us if you are interested in us. If you don't give back something, then we will stop pursuing, but let us pursue. It's your best chance at success at landing one of us for more than one date.
Tip #5: Don't be too quick with physical affection. Yes, we do want that very much, but don't just jump into it too quickly. Make us work a little for it. We will value it much more if you do. Also, don't let the physical take precedence over everything or we'll start to lose that loving feeling. I don't know why, but it just works that way. Remember, bridle your passion, that you may be filled with love, like the scripture says. This may be surprising to you, but it's true. If you try to commit a man through the use of the physical or sexual, many just lose interest. I know this is counter-intuitive but somehow it's just works out that way. He may be interested in having fun with you but it often doesn't lead to true love or anything long term. The best chance at finding love is to follow the guidelines set forth by the Lord. I believe a full expression of love is only found in legal and lawful marriage. It just is.
Tip #6: Men do however, like to be touched. Back rubs, neck rubs, holding hands, caressing, hugs etc. are all awesome and we love those things.
Tip #7: Have fun. Men like to be active. We like to bond through fun activities.
Tip #8: Don't expect us to read your mind. No, I'm serious. We'll just disappoint you. You've got to be direct and concise about your needs and desires. I know we should get it, but we just don't. You guys are mysterious, so please use your words.
Tip #9: Share your spirituality. A woman's goodness and spirituality are crowning jewels to her and make us admire and even love her. A woman's testimony and faith provide a wonderful foundation and comfort to a man. Truly, your faith is inspiring and makes us want to be our best selves. Do not hide this under a bushel. Let your light so shine. Please.
Is there anything else? Yes, I'm sure there is, but I can't think of anything right now. Feel free to ask me questions and I'm sure my fellow brothers and I can weigh in. You can also challenge me to further explanation, I'm happy to do it. While I am no expert and bumble around in my own dating life, I think these ideas are pretty good. Take them for what they're worth.
Take care and enjoy life!
Upward and onward my fellow survivors!
Saturday, May 2, 2015
Still a Crazy Sports Dad!
Do you ever get annoyed with parents at sports events? They are just so gaga over their own kids, like no one else matters out there. They are so sure that their kid is going to go pro.
Well can I make a confession here? Sometimes I get a little carried away myself.
The other day I went to watch my 13 year old boy's baseball game. Remember, his Mom took him 45 minutes away to live, so he has to start all over proving himself to all his coaches. That's irritating. My boy is good. In my mind, he's one of the better athletes. In fact, I know he is.
So the game starts and my son's team takes the field, except my boy isn't out there. What??!! He's not out there? Ridiculous! They left him on the bench. Uggh! You've got to be kidding me. I put on my patient face and just wait.
The next inning they do put him on the field. Thank goodness! I start to relax, Later, when he first comes up to bat I'm excited and a little nervous for him. I want him to do well. He's the first batter up that inning. The coach gives him the signal of what he wants him to do. He steps up to the plate and lays out his bat to bunt the ball on the first pitch. What???!!!! A bunt when he's the first batter and no one else is on base? Why?? I feel myself starting to get irritated again. I don't like that call at all. But my boy is a good soldier and he lays down a perfect bunt on the second pitch. It's perfect, but not quite perfect enough. It goes up the first base line. He sprints forward, but the pitcher grabs the ball and narrowly throws him out at first. What a waste! Don't they know my boy can hit? Geez!
The next at bat, my son gets walked. Okay. I watch him steal second, then third, They hold him at third on the next few pitches but he keeps threatening to steal home. Finally, on a wild pitch, he books it home and scores. Everyone cheers. Yes!!! That was a gutsy play! I love it. You can't keep a Nielson down I say under my breath, secretly exulting.
Later he is out playing center field. The opposing batter steps up to the plate and strokes a nice one out far. My boy is all over it. I see him running forward to position himself for the catch, and he does catch it. Inning over. It's perfect! In a burst of energy, I find myself jumping up and down in the bleachers pumping my fists in the air. "That's my boy! That's my boy!" I hear myself shouting. The other parents look over at an over exuberant Dad jumping up and down and yelling. I barely notice. Subconsciously, I want everyone to know my boy is good and shouldn't be overlooked. I feel that old competitive spirit churning just like it used to when I played sports. Later, I sense I overreacted with the jumping and the yelling thing, but oh well.
After the game, I'm walking back to the car with my son.
"What was that you were yelling Dad? When I made that catch?"
"Oh, you heard that? Was I yelling that loud?"
"I kind of heard it. What where you saying?"
"Well, I think I said something like, 'That's my boy! That's my boy!' "
"Oh ya, That's what I though you said."
We turn the corner to get to the car and I see a big grin steal over his young face. Then I feel a big grin stealing over mine as well. Nothing like sharing a moment with your own flesh and blood. He's a Nielson and he's a part of me. Always will be and that's a fact.
I may be an overactive sports Dad, but I guess sometimes being an overactive sports Dad has it's perks.
Upward and onward!
Love you guys!
Well can I make a confession here? Sometimes I get a little carried away myself.
The other day I went to watch my 13 year old boy's baseball game. Remember, his Mom took him 45 minutes away to live, so he has to start all over proving himself to all his coaches. That's irritating. My boy is good. In my mind, he's one of the better athletes. In fact, I know he is.
So the game starts and my son's team takes the field, except my boy isn't out there. What??!! He's not out there? Ridiculous! They left him on the bench. Uggh! You've got to be kidding me. I put on my patient face and just wait.
The next inning they do put him on the field. Thank goodness! I start to relax, Later, when he first comes up to bat I'm excited and a little nervous for him. I want him to do well. He's the first batter up that inning. The coach gives him the signal of what he wants him to do. He steps up to the plate and lays out his bat to bunt the ball on the first pitch. What???!!!! A bunt when he's the first batter and no one else is on base? Why?? I feel myself starting to get irritated again. I don't like that call at all. But my boy is a good soldier and he lays down a perfect bunt on the second pitch. It's perfect, but not quite perfect enough. It goes up the first base line. He sprints forward, but the pitcher grabs the ball and narrowly throws him out at first. What a waste! Don't they know my boy can hit? Geez!
The next at bat, my son gets walked. Okay. I watch him steal second, then third, They hold him at third on the next few pitches but he keeps threatening to steal home. Finally, on a wild pitch, he books it home and scores. Everyone cheers. Yes!!! That was a gutsy play! I love it. You can't keep a Nielson down I say under my breath, secretly exulting.
Later he is out playing center field. The opposing batter steps up to the plate and strokes a nice one out far. My boy is all over it. I see him running forward to position himself for the catch, and he does catch it. Inning over. It's perfect! In a burst of energy, I find myself jumping up and down in the bleachers pumping my fists in the air. "That's my boy! That's my boy!" I hear myself shouting. The other parents look over at an over exuberant Dad jumping up and down and yelling. I barely notice. Subconsciously, I want everyone to know my boy is good and shouldn't be overlooked. I feel that old competitive spirit churning just like it used to when I played sports. Later, I sense I overreacted with the jumping and the yelling thing, but oh well.
After the game, I'm walking back to the car with my son.
"What was that you were yelling Dad? When I made that catch?"
"Oh, you heard that? Was I yelling that loud?"
"I kind of heard it. What where you saying?"
"Well, I think I said something like, 'That's my boy! That's my boy!' "
"Oh ya, That's what I though you said."
We turn the corner to get to the car and I see a big grin steal over his young face. Then I feel a big grin stealing over mine as well. Nothing like sharing a moment with your own flesh and blood. He's a Nielson and he's a part of me. Always will be and that's a fact.
I may be an overactive sports Dad, but I guess sometimes being an overactive sports Dad has it's perks.
Upward and onward!
Love you guys!
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