The Savior knows about being alone. Think of him. When he he carried his cross, he was alone. When he suffered in Gethsemane, he was alone. When he was taken up on the mount and tempted of Lucifer, he was alone. Can you imagine what it would have been like growing up as the Savior with no one else to relate to? No one who could really understand the depths of his soul? I cannot fathom it. Can you imagine the Savior as young boy so wanting friendship with his peers and love from the adults around him yet feeling so different? He didn't think like young boys his age. How do you think that made him appear to them? Would it have endeared him to them or would it cause him hurt and isolation? Do you think his brothers and sisters understood him? Did they feel that their mother and father treated him differently, thus causing resentment? Did they envy him? Did those in the community ostracize him. I'm not sure. The scriptures don't give us every detail. But I know this. The Savior felt the sting of loneliness very often in life.
Think of Him as a young man. Do you think he didn't desire to find his true love and marry? Do you think just any young woman would do? It would have to be one incredible woman to be willing to be the wife of the Savior and to be a match for him. How do you think he felt knowing that his life was going to be cut short, that he would have to leave her in this fallen world?
I imagine him feeling so burdened at times even though he was surrounded by family and disciples. Who could relieve him of the weight or even carry it for a short time? No one. Who could he talk to beside His Father in fervent prayer? I can only imagine that the Father would have had to impart his Spirit frequently and indeed the Savior walked full of the Spirit to a greater degree than anyone. Yet in his hour of grand bitterness that spirit was withdrawn. He was once again left alone and in agony.
When I think of this, I realize more and more that my loneliness cannot compare to his. His path I could not walk nor could I even drink a thimble full of the bitterness that he tasted. Yet to me, at times, loneliness finds it way back and sneaks up on me unaware. I then complain bitterly to the Lord and ask him to relieve me of the burden of loneliness.
This he does, leaving me with comfort and assurance, sending my children to lift me, providing dear friends to buoy me up and make my heart glad. He grants me meaningful work, and calls me to holy callings and clothes me with his spirit. He answers my prayers.
Brothers and Sisters. I cannot complain. I do not feel justified in doing so. I see the Lord's creations everyday and I witness his miracles. As I give, I am filled again. For the good that I do, I am repaid many fold.
Of course there are still things that I lack and my heart still yearns for them. But I hold my faith strong. I know that in the due time of the Lord, all will be restored. All tears will cease and we all will mount up on wings of eagles and the day will come when we shall all sit down together and feast at the table of the Lord.
Sunday, September 24, 2017
Sunday, September 3, 2017
Finding the One. Easy for Some. Hard for Others.
I hear non stop in the circles I'm in on Facebook how gosh darn difficult it is to find a marriage match especially at age 40, 50 and beyond. Constantly I hear the lamentations of many of us crying out about the injustice and the impossible odds against us of ever finding the right one. I'm also repeatedly told how easy we men have it and how the odds are all in our favor, and what's wrong with you picky men, waiting for the perfect 10 to arrive who also is spiritual and a great mother and who will love and accept your kids. It goes on and on and on.
Hey, I get it. I know where these feelings are coming from. They come from a place of deep frustration. They come from a place of natural desire to be part of something bigger than ourselves, a place where we experience the ultimate human connection. I know. I have these feelings hit me sometimes too. I'm human also. We all long for that special something that we are missing. We were designed this way. I've been divorced for awhile now, but the reality is that whether you've been divorced a month or fifteen years, you still have the same feelings. You still want what you want. You still have a desire for that connection.
I went to a fireside tonight and the young charismatic speaker told us all that we need to be doing more to find "the one." His point was that we need to do the work in order to attract the right kind of partner in our lives. Well, ok. I guess that could be true for some of us. Some people do need to get out of their comfort zones, leave their fear and self pity behind and get in the game. He told the story of how he experienced a short marriage of 3 years and then was left by his wife for his best friend. He then spent a year on his own, single, before being set up with the girl of his dreams and marrying her and having beautiful children with her. He said he went the extra mile and worked hard to prepare himself to meet his future wife and then she just appeared.
To be honest, I'm very happy for the young man. I don't begrudge him in any way. It's terrific that he was blessed to find his eternal mate. I think I will blessed in that way someday too and so will all of us who desire it. But what I would have said, had I been giving the talk is that we can't control how and when blessings like that come. I learned a long time ago that I am not in charge down here, the Lord is. I could work all day and night thinking of nothing but finding my future wife. The reality is that this kind of thinking could actually do the opposite for me instead of producing the desired results.
I suppose if I really wanted to, I could convince some unsuspecting woman to marry me. I think there might be one or two that I might be able to talk into it. But just because you can do something, does that mean you should? I have lived long enough and have had enough experience in life to know that it's much better to be happily single than in a torturous relationship or marriage. I won't stand for that. I'm not a masochist. I'll live with my loneliness albeit it bitter at times, but much more fulfilling than the aforementioned alternative.
The truth is that the Lord is in charge of how and when he will bless us and with which type of blessings. I cannot force him to send the girl of my dreams to my doorstep until he is good and ready and if I know anything, he expects me to be out there doing something and not just waiting around. I will not marry again until I know that it is right and that my life will be better than it is now in my single state. Remember, there are much worse things than being single.
If I had been giving the talk, I would have taken a different tact. I would say this. Live your life the best you can. Live in the now and rejoice in the blessings of the present. Learn, love and serve all those around you. Accept the present reality and enjoy all the advantages it provides. This period is temporary. Now is the time to prepare to meet God. The Lord will lead us the way we need to go. Learn to be still and listen to Him. Pray for the strength to face your challenges and to carry your burdens. Sooner or later, the Lord will bless each one of us with a spouse again if that is truly our
desire.
Working harder to find a spouse is not the answer for me. I already work hard. I don't need to work harder. What I need is to serve and wait upon the Lord for his perfect timing to align. Until that time comes, I will do my best to keep raising my children in righteousness, to serve my family, friends and ward members. I will work to overcome my weaknesses and to develop my talents. When the Lord finally helps me make that connection with someone special, no one will be more ecstatic and joyful than me. That I can assure you of.
Let's do what we can now, brothers and sisters. Let's not wait until that glorious day when we meet our future spouse. If we aren't happy single, why do you think we will somehow become happy married? Happiness is a choice. Let's make that choice and live. Let's choose love and happiness right here, right now.
Blessings to you all!
Hey, I get it. I know where these feelings are coming from. They come from a place of deep frustration. They come from a place of natural desire to be part of something bigger than ourselves, a place where we experience the ultimate human connection. I know. I have these feelings hit me sometimes too. I'm human also. We all long for that special something that we are missing. We were designed this way. I've been divorced for awhile now, but the reality is that whether you've been divorced a month or fifteen years, you still have the same feelings. You still want what you want. You still have a desire for that connection.
I went to a fireside tonight and the young charismatic speaker told us all that we need to be doing more to find "the one." His point was that we need to do the work in order to attract the right kind of partner in our lives. Well, ok. I guess that could be true for some of us. Some people do need to get out of their comfort zones, leave their fear and self pity behind and get in the game. He told the story of how he experienced a short marriage of 3 years and then was left by his wife for his best friend. He then spent a year on his own, single, before being set up with the girl of his dreams and marrying her and having beautiful children with her. He said he went the extra mile and worked hard to prepare himself to meet his future wife and then she just appeared.
To be honest, I'm very happy for the young man. I don't begrudge him in any way. It's terrific that he was blessed to find his eternal mate. I think I will blessed in that way someday too and so will all of us who desire it. But what I would have said, had I been giving the talk is that we can't control how and when blessings like that come. I learned a long time ago that I am not in charge down here, the Lord is. I could work all day and night thinking of nothing but finding my future wife. The reality is that this kind of thinking could actually do the opposite for me instead of producing the desired results.
I suppose if I really wanted to, I could convince some unsuspecting woman to marry me. I think there might be one or two that I might be able to talk into it. But just because you can do something, does that mean you should? I have lived long enough and have had enough experience in life to know that it's much better to be happily single than in a torturous relationship or marriage. I won't stand for that. I'm not a masochist. I'll live with my loneliness albeit it bitter at times, but much more fulfilling than the aforementioned alternative.
The truth is that the Lord is in charge of how and when he will bless us and with which type of blessings. I cannot force him to send the girl of my dreams to my doorstep until he is good and ready and if I know anything, he expects me to be out there doing something and not just waiting around. I will not marry again until I know that it is right and that my life will be better than it is now in my single state. Remember, there are much worse things than being single.
If I had been giving the talk, I would have taken a different tact. I would say this. Live your life the best you can. Live in the now and rejoice in the blessings of the present. Learn, love and serve all those around you. Accept the present reality and enjoy all the advantages it provides. This period is temporary. Now is the time to prepare to meet God. The Lord will lead us the way we need to go. Learn to be still and listen to Him. Pray for the strength to face your challenges and to carry your burdens. Sooner or later, the Lord will bless each one of us with a spouse again if that is truly our
desire.
Working harder to find a spouse is not the answer for me. I already work hard. I don't need to work harder. What I need is to serve and wait upon the Lord for his perfect timing to align. Until that time comes, I will do my best to keep raising my children in righteousness, to serve my family, friends and ward members. I will work to overcome my weaknesses and to develop my talents. When the Lord finally helps me make that connection with someone special, no one will be more ecstatic and joyful than me. That I can assure you of.
Let's do what we can now, brothers and sisters. Let's not wait until that glorious day when we meet our future spouse. If we aren't happy single, why do you think we will somehow become happy married? Happiness is a choice. Let's make that choice and live. Let's choose love and happiness right here, right now.
Blessings to you all!
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