There are a couple of philosophies I've run into regarding remarriage after divorce.
One is to run towards it as fast as you can. The other is to run from it.
Up till now I guess I've fallen into the second category; that of running from it. Don't get me wrong. It's never been my intention to run from it. It's just that is has never worked out for me in the six plus years since I've been single again. I've never had that "right" feeling. I've actually been trying to find it again this whole time.
Man was not meant to be alone; but sometimes he just finds himself that way. It's not that I haven't had my opportunities. It isn't that I haven't tried. It's just that something in the back of my mind has been whispering to me all this time. "It's not your time yet Brett. It's not your time."
Let me tell you, that's not the message I like to hear. I've been hearing it all my life with regards to all my man made dreams. Everytime I want to have some blessing or accomplish some great thing, frequently it just doesn't seem to be in alignment with God's plan for me, mostly on the timing aspect.
I know I need to learn to trust. I know I need to be humble. I know I need to keep developing patience. I know that many of the things that have happened or not happened according to my desire have been to protect me.
I also know that the timing has had to do with my kids. There has been much that I have accomplished with my kids in these past years. All three of my daughters have married now since the divorce. Two of them have served missions. I have two, almost three grand children now. I feel I have done right by my children. I have been there for them. I didn't act impulsively to fill my own needs and desires. I established stability for them as much as I could after the divorce. It was better for them and for me to be single while all of that transition was happening.
I have also come a long way in my healing. I'm no longer as bitter as I once was.
I am more prepared now. The timing seems to be moving more in my direction than it ever did before.
There is someone special now, someone who is different.
It may be that the planets are finally aligning.
Over the years I have talked with many fellow travelers on this road. Many of them are new to this path. They look at me in astonishment. "You've been single how long?" They just can't fathom it. They just can't see that it could happen to them too. They don't want that path. They want things fixed right now, just like I did.
My thoughts on the subject are these:
You never know the future. You only have the present. Your path to remarriage may be short or it may be long. That doesn't matter so much in the long run. What matters is what you do with the now that you've been given. When you make that leap to marriage again, make sure that you are making the best possible choice for yourself. Do it because it is right, not to just fill a void. Take the time to make sure. Stay grounded. Stay wise. Don't try to force it. Don't jump into it when you are having a lot of doubts. There are too many sad stories when people force themselves to overlook their uncomfortable doubts. Do it because your life is one hundred times better with that person in it than it is without them.
Blessings to you all!
