This Continued Journey

It's been quite a while since I've written here.  It's about time that I did.

It feels like I've done enough living in the past 3 years since the divorce to equal 10.  I have transitioned into singlehood from being a married father for 23 years.  I have sent two of my daughters on missions. Two of my daughters are now married.  I'm now a grandfather.  I've been laid off twice from jobs but have rebounded.  I lost a wife.  I lost a home.  I lost a life that could have been.  Since then, I have dated much and have experienced relationships.  I have been privileged enough to love again but have been moved in other directions. This was not easy for me. I have lived much, loved much, fought much, conquered much, suffered much, cried much, laughed much, have grown much.

Like Jacob says in the Book of Mormon, "the time passed away with us, and also our lives passed away like as it were a dream, we being a lonesome and solemn people, wanderers, cast out..."

I could have never imagined this path that I am now walking, yet I can look at myself in the mirror and respect.  My path has not been smooth.  I have not walked the easy road. There have been many thorns and noxious weeds.  My path did not offer me a supportive spouse with understanding eyes, but that lack kept me close to and relying on the Lord.  I have become a different person over time with layers of understanding embedding themselves in my marrow.

I have come to know this.  I cannot see much of what lies ahead, but I keep walking.  I see the road just a little in front, yet, I keep seeking for a better country, not having received of the promises but seeing them afar off, but being persuaded of them. (Hebrews 11)

Revelation works like this.  You are given a little; you follow that light.  Then you are given a little more light and you follow it.  You go as far as the light leads.  Sometimes you follow the light down a path that you think will lead you to a certain destination or outcome.   You make plans.  You dream dreams, but then light tells you to stop.  You have gone far enough on that road.  Now you need to take a different road. Can you be flexible enough to accept the truth and follow the light still, even when it takes you in a direction you didn't anticipate or desire?  I hope so. We must be willing to give up what we thought was so good for us and follow the path that the Lord has laid out for us. We must do this even if others don't understand.  I can't tell you how many times my desired path and the path the Lord has offered me have not matched.  I have had to humble myself many times and and seek the guidance and comfort of the spirit in order to be able to have the strength to accept the will of the Lord for me in my life.  I have had to accept trials and hurts that I did not choose by my actions. These have been trials that were born in me or that were thrust upon me by life and foolish choices of others.  I have had to accept my reality but envision a greater reality to come.  I am still seeking that "better country" and I pray that God will not be ashamed to call himself my God.

The question is, will we keep seeking the light?  Will we continue to learn what the Master has for us, being "willing to submit" like a little child to his father?  Or will our hearts turn dark?

My blessing says that I knew what was going to take place in my life and that I agreed to it.  Wouldn't that be true for all of us?

Blessings my brothers and sisters.  Upward and onward!