My Growing Satisfaction Since Life Turned

So what else have I learned from my experiences so far post divorce?

A lot.

It's been about 2 and half years now since the divorce.  I must say that I'm in a much more peaceful place than before.  I'm healthier physically, more at peace emotionally, recovered significantly financially from the trauma suffered.  A little time has been my friend.  I look back and feel good about how far I've come. I can take a sigh of relief and congratulate myself and thank Heavenly Father for His tender mercies.  I'm doing as well as can be expected.  I can respect myself.  Miles have been traversed.

I used to look at others and see how successful their lives appeared to be.   They seemed to float along with no opposition while I was always struggling with so many challenges. "So much more opportunity and reward" I would think to myself.   "Why not me?"  The red in me drives me on. I was born with it.  It's a good thing. But what I've come to realize is that despite all my temporary losses, I've done my best with the opportunities that I've been given. I've made the most of them. That is the definition of success for me.  All our circumstances and opportunities are different. That's just the way it is.

One circumstance is that I'm single.  There is nothing wrong with being single.  It's just not where I want to stay ultimately.  I still feel the missing piece of the puzzle since my divorce, but my concept of time and timing has expanded.  The urgency has tapered off. My kids have to be considered strongly in the equation.  A favorable set of circumstances must be brought into alignment in order for me to have a companion again.    All I can do is prepare and wait upon the Lord.  I believe he will help me, that he is helping me.  I am doing my part.  I am not passive. My kids are preparing also. They have adjusted to their lives as children with parents living separately.  They are open.  They are resilient.  When things are right, we will be ready.

I thought for awhile that I couldn't love again, that I would be riding on an endless carousel of meetings but never be able to love or deepen my relationships.  I've since learned that there is nothing wrong with my heart.

People ask me why I'm not married already, why I don't have someone.  "Surely you're a unicorn!" they say, a divorced LDS man that is still on the path  "That's rare" they tell me.  "You can have your pick" they tell me.  "The odds are all in your favor" they tell me.  "You are just too picky."

Well it's not all as easy as they think.  I'm a thoughtful one, not given to rushing.  I'm also cautious. I've gone through the ultimate rejection.  I choose to reject that rejection.  It will not define me nor will it stop me from loving again, but it will make me more cautious and more observant than ever I was before.  I have a lifetime of experience now and I will use it.  I'm interested in something that will last.  I'll be darned if I will accept being underappreciated or disrespected again.  I have a radar to it now.

In the meantime I work and I raise my kids.  I play tennis.  I go dancing.  I fulfill my callings. I say my prayers.  I try to help those around me.  I live a productive life.

I will say that as a single man, I don't stay home.  I actively date and go to social events.  Staying home would be the death of me.  I'm not made that way.  When I go to these events I don't think about meeting my future wife too much there.  I go to have fun and to enrich my life with friends and experiences.  I have a choice.  If I'm lucky enough to meet someone I'm interested in, I'll pursue it. But for me, to willingly deny myself of these experiences would only depress me and leave me more open to temptation and my own weaknesses.  I refuse to do that.  It's a part of my life that needs to be nourished just as my physical body needs to be nourished and my spirit needs to be nourished.  I believe it is what the Lord expects.

What about you my brothers and sisters?  Are you growing as well?  Please respond and let us all know.  How long has it been and how have you grown since your life turned?

Blessings to all!  Upward and onward!