My Girls

Last night I had all three of my girls with me.  It's been years since I've had them all together with me. They are growing up.  One is just home from a mission.  Another has been at BYU.  Another is a senior in high school.

Time moves on.  We are all time travelers in the universe except we can only move in one direction. Forward. Nothing stays the same in life, divorce or no divorce.  My girls keep growing up and I don't have the same structure that I used to have to support them.

When they were little I kept them safe.  They wore their Laura Ashley dresses and I took them to the park, to their dance lessons, to their friends birthday parties.  I read them Harry Potter at night.  We had family home evening.

Then they hit the teenage stage.  Seemed like every week I would hear a loud knock on the front door. Someone leaving a riddle of some kind for one of my girls, asking them to some dance.  "Who's trying to take my girls from me?" I would ask.  Always more and more dates.

I noticed that they weren't talking with me as much.  I wasn't hearing all the details about their adventures and their new boyfriends.  They guarded their secrets.  They were too embarrassed and uncomfortable to tell their dad about their first kisses.  Still are to some extent.  But I knew they were changing into young women and it was just a natural process.

When the divorce happened, my girls were the first ones to support me.   Before my first daughter left on her mission, she warned me.  She told me about what she had seen, what she had observed.  "I just don't want you to get hurt Dad" she said with pain in her voice.  "Oh no." I replied.  "I'm sure you didn't see what you think you saw."  But she did.  I believed her but I couldn't allow myself to believe.  I was desperately trying to save my marriage.  I worried that I may have caused her some damage by choosing to take the high road with her mom at that time.  I have since validated and thanked her for what she had the courage to say and I apologized.  She held nothing against me and she is with me again.  Still my daughter, only better since the mission.

My second daughter stood up.  She wouldn't let it pass.  She bore most of the pain of the divorce while my first daughter was gone.  She was old enough to see what was happening.  She was the voice of truth and she defended her father, even though it caused her pain.  That is something I will never forget.  I wince that I was not able to protect her from that pain.  She has a great future ahead.

My third daughter is choosing to stay and live with me for her senior year instead of moving to a new city with her mom.  She is an angel.  I do not speak unkindly of her mother to her.  She is innocent. She seeks the light. The fact that she is choosing to live with me now speaks volumes.  She may not see it as any big deal and only a matter of convenience, but to me it is huge.  She will keep growing and I am privileged to witness her growth and development.  What a fabulous young woman.

So in the end, I guess I'm not losing my girls after all.  Though they are traveling life's ever moving path and going through all of life's stages, they are still mine. I didn't lose my girls to young womanhood.  I gained them to womanhood.  They never rejected their dad and I will always be there for them, my precious daughters.

They tell me that girls have a special bond with their dads.  I think it's absolutely true and I thank the Lord everyday that it is.