An Old Girlfriend Comes Back: Why Dating Makes a Difference

About 25 years ago, before I was married,  I had a girlfriend.  I met her one summer while I was home from BYU.  I was at church one Sunday when I saw her for the first time in the chapel.  She was blonde and very attractive.  As there weren't too many LDS girls like her walking around in my area in Atlanta at the time, I immediately found a way to introduce myself after the meetings.  I quickly learned that she was not a member of our church but was just attending that summer with her sister.

In learning more about her, I found out that she really didn't have much of a religious background at all.  She had had a little exposure through her grandparents, but that was about it.

What she did have was a loving family, especially her sister who brought her.. She was educated. She was smart and independent, very self motivated. She was friendly. She excelled in her work. She was very confident and I liked that about her.

Well, like any young man might, I pursued her.  I decided that I didn't care that she hadn't been raised like I had and we started dating.  Pretty soon it turned into a summer romance.  By the end of the summer I had the opportunity to baptize her a member of the church.  I don't remember a lot of details about her meeting with the missionaries, but I do remember talking about the gospel with her. That was a very great privilege for me. I remember taking her down into the waters of baptism and watching her come up with a huge smile on her face.  She was ready for her new life.

We continued dating for about 9 months or so.  It was serious for awhile but eventually we decided to move in another direction.  We didn't marry each other.  In another couple of years we were both married to other people.  I kind of lost track of her then.

Fast forward 25 years later.  I'm divorced now.  I get a message on FB from her out of the blue. "Guess what?" she asks.  "My son is getting married in Salt Lake City next week and I'd love to see you and your family while we're there."

"What????  Of course we want to see you!  It's been over 25 years.  How are you??!!"

We made the arrangements and I took my Dad and she took her son with her and we met at a local restaurant.  She told me about her awesome kids and I told her about mine.

My Dad told her he remembered her beautiful smile sitting at our kitchen table all those years ago. She really hasn't changed very much in all that time.

Her oldest son that was with her, had just returned from a mission not too long ago and had found his sweetheart and they were getting married in the temple.  He was an impressive kid; so kind, and stable and very loving towards his mother.  In all the years since I had known his Mom, he had grown up to be a wonderful man with strong faith and a desire to start his new life based on a relationship with God.

She told me how often she prayed for each one of her kids and how she held on to the promise that if she stayed strong in the gospel herself, her kids would stay strong also.  Teach a child the way they should go and they will not depart from it.  The fulfillment of this was evident in her son.

At the end of the lunch, as we were saying our goodbyes, her oldest son turns to me and shakes my hand.  "I always wanted to meet the guy that baptized my Mom."  he says.  "Thank you so much for what you did."  What I did?  Oh yes,  I guess I did do something useful I start to remember.

"Now you know who Brett is, and who it is that wrote his name in my very first set of scriptures." my old girlfrend chimes in.  "I still have them." she declares.

I'm taken back.  It seems surreal, seeing an old girlfriend like that after 25 years with her returned missionary son standing there in the flesh thanking me for what I did over 25 years ago..  What a path my life has taken me on!  The people I've met and the relationships I've had.  It's overwhelming to think about.

I do not take any credit for her conversion to the church, but I will say that I think I helped her get a good start.

She told me later, that before that time she had not been into any church at all, but that one day, she went with her sister in Atlanta, a light switched on and she completely left her old life behind and never looked back.  She never had any desire to return to the old ways of living.  She's been converted and has been dedicated ever since.  Man, what a miracle! And I got to be part of it! I'm looking at her son who is about to start a righteous family of his own and I marvel at what one little pebble thrown in a pond can do!  The ripples extend out forever.

So I guess the moral of the story is this:  You and I may get frustrated with our current situation, especially in dating.  It can be discouraging at times.  We all wish we could skip to the end and just find the one.  Right?  But just think about the people we've had the opportunity to meet and what we learned from them and what we've been able to contribute to their lives as well.  Maybe we meet and date people for a reason.  The Lord has grander purposes in mind than what we know, and they may or may not have to do with marriage to any particular person.  Do we really want to skip the dating experience and miss out on what the Lord has for us to experience and learn?

I for one am going to try to be more open about my opportunities in the future.  I admit that I've had the tendency to judge a situation in dating way too soon.  That's my mistake and I can learn from that. The experience I shared in this post about my old girlfriend is a testament to the fact that there is much more going on than we know in the spiritual aspect of things and in the relationships we have in life.

My desire is to go where the Lord leads me and experience what he wants me to experience and to meet who he wants me to meet and to learn what he wants me to learn.  Are you with me on this?

This is the truth.  I'm sure of it.