The Spiritual Struggle of Marriage

When I was young I had list of what I wanted in a wife.  I recorded it in my journal.  It was all very idealistic and full of expectations.  When I found my ex wife, I believed that I had found that person. I idealized her and put her on a pedestal.  She was young, innocent, spiritually minded and beautiful. I dreamed about the life we would build together and the memories we would make.

The fact is that we were able to make many good memories and we raised beautiful children together. When it was good, it was good.  When it wasn't...it was challenging.  But the Lord was with us.  He was there to bless our efforts.  He didn't leave us without his support. We could have made it together, but my ex decided it wasn't worth it. She sought for greener pastures. There was nothing I could do to stop it from happening.  I guess I can take solace in the fact that I fought off the adversary for 23 years.  In the end, you can't protect your family if they willing turn away from you. Just can't do it no matter how strong you think you are or how much you try to protect them.

But every marriage conceived in righteousness starts out with the approval and blessing of the Lord.

Each partner in a marriage comes from a different background with different experiences. Each partner has a different personality.  Men and women are different.  Likes and dislikes can be different. Family traditions and practices are different.  With all the differences it's amazing that anyone gets married at all.  This risk of failure is great, and as everyone knows, the divorce rate is very high and with all the freedom we have these days, it's not surprising that many of us are in the divorce boat.  Perhaps in times past it wasn't as easy to get a divorce and people tended to stay together no matter what.  It's different today.

The truth is that we are drawn together as designed by the Lord.  We are meant to get married and have a partner in order to become our best selves and create and help Heavenly Father bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.  We are partners with Him.  The marriage bond for us is a three way covenant between each other and the Lord.

We are meant to cooperate as equals.  We usually start out young and inexperienced with very little of life's resources.  Little by little we begin to grow.  Our family grows with beautiful children, literal spirit children sent down to us by God.  Our economic circumstances improve. If we both stay focused on the Lord, our families begin to blossom and shine.  Our children increase in wisdom and beauty.  The Lord is with us both, inspiring us on how to raise our children, how to bring them up, how to protect and nurture them, how to nurture one another.  It can be beautiful.  It is beautiful.

The problem is that just as Heavenly Father is blessing us and our marriages and our new family unit, Satan is always at work trying to drive a wedge between husbands and wives.  He wants to destroy our eternal families.  He takes advantage of all our differences and all our weaknesses.  He utilizes the natural stress that comes in a marriage because of this mortal life and just will wreak havoc wherever he can.  I believe he is real, and he has many advantages over us in our mortal state.  If we take our eyes off the Savior, Satan will surely cause pain, distress and destruction.  He will laugh as our eternal families are destroyed.

That's what happened in my case.  He won that battle.  You would not have believed how beautiful my family was.  How precious it was.  The spirit was with us to a great degree, but I could not hold it together on my own and I mourn the loss of it.  Will always mourn the loss.

I used to think in my young mind that I could beat Satan.  I was a warrior in body and spirit. Nothing was going to beat me, including him.  The truth that I've learned over time, is that I can't beat Satan. No way. Not on my own. He's got me outgunned. He has way too much intelligence and experience. He also has too many tools and mortal world conditions to work with on his side.  Even my body would betray me if I don't do everything I can to control it.  I can only prevail one way, and that way is to completely rely on the Savior and his atonement to save me.  On my own, I'm too weak.

Before Joseph Smith experienced his first vision with God the Father and His Son Jesus Christ, he was attacked mercilessly by Satan.  He felt like he literally was going to die or be cast off to oblivion. The only way he was delivered was to call unceasingly on the Lord to deliver him.  He couldn't save himself.  The Lord had to intervene and he did.  Great as he was, Joseph was no match for Satan one on one.

Brothers and Sisters, we are no different.  If we don't keep our eye on the Savior, Satan will come and take away even more than he did with our marriages. He will take away our salvation.  You and I may not be in the circumstances we envisioned in our lives, but we haven't lost everything. We can and will rebuild, and for our righteousness we will receive double.  We need to recognize that we are still in a war and that Satan is fighting for our souls.  He wants more slaves to do his bidding.   There is only one defense against him and that is our Savior.  Let us never forget Him.  Let us never forget who we are either as spirit sons and daughters of our Heavenly Father.  If we do, there is not one thing that this world can take away from us that won't be restored to us double and even ten fold.

Let's learn our lesson well here and let's look to God and live.